Build your own fission reactor.
Just follow these easy steps.
Step 1: Build DIY atom-splitting device. (Plans available on the Internet, or create your own for extra family fun!)
Step 2: Split atoms. (Note: minor meltdowns may occur. Use the kitchen for easy cleanup!)
Step 3: Succeed! Prior to constructing larger facilities in the backyard, be sure to contact local authorities to make sure your property is zoned for a fission reactor.
Step 4: Spend the next 10-to-20 years improving your reactor plans, in the safety of a cinder-block “research lab” with an assistant named Bubba*.
(Name changed to protect the slightly-less-than-innocent.)
A Swedish man really did try splitting atoms in the comfort of his kitchen, with some apparent success. His experiments were brought to a premature end, however, when he called police to check on the legality of his activities. He’s now facing criminal charges.
Note to the wise: if you’re going to split something in the kitchen, best stick with the banana and ice cream variety.