A Word to the (Not So) Wise

A few things to look out for (read: avoid like the plague) when setting up a spam-comment-bot to make allegedly personalized comments on “unsuspecting” blogs that link back to your sales-or-phishing website:

1.  Inadvertent humor. (“I’d been meaning to research this very topic! Thank you for posting!!” takes on an entirely new meaning when attached to an entry about the Garden Gnome Apocalypse.)

2. Carpet-bombing. It’s possible your flattery will make me overlook the clearly ad-related website your comment links to. I might even overlook the fact that your email address is XXX1109190253252skehwieu_km@gmail.com (Looks legit.) But you’re much less likely to actually reach the open air if your web-crawler posts NINE identical comments in one day. (Pro tip: doesn’t matter whether they’re nine comments on one post or one each on nine entries. I see what you did there. I deleted it.)

and, best of all:

3. Nobody is Named “Bridezilla”. Give that spider a vaguely human-sounding name. “Best [insert productname here]” just might make me notice the scent of spam in the air.

Any one of these will get you kicked to the curb and the label “Permanent Pinata” – which means I get to pull you out and whack you with the irony stick at will. Forever.

It also earns you a visit from Angry Fish.

Angry Fish Disapproves of Your Internet Antics