Wednesday Writing Challenge: Promotion vs. Reality

This week’s Wednesday Writing challenge explores the difference between reality and hype.

We’ve all seen the ads: “Visit Tourist Attraction X, the greatest thing since Kleenex!” or “Buy SnackieCakes…0 calories, tastes like real sugar!”

We’ve all seen the reality: the pathetic, dust-covered biscuits yearning to breathe the caloric air of a real bakery, and a tourist attraction that turns out somewhat different than the brochure claimed.

Your challenge this week, should you choose to accept it, is to take an object – real or imaginary – and write about it two ways: first, give us the advertising hype.  Then take us through the reality.  The only requirement is that they differ in some significant way.

My guest blogger this week is my son Tesla (age 15), whose recent writing assignment centered on this very task.  I was impressed enough with his offering that I reproduce it here.  I found it very good, especially considering his age, and decided to reward his effort by letting his entry stand here.

Here’s hoping you enjoy it as much as I did.  (Note: Llama Lland is Tesla’s creation. Any resemblance to actual theme parks, living or mostly dead, is purely coincidental.)

Part 1: The Ad


Have YOU been to Llama Land yet?!  Bring your kids and come on out to the best attraction in town!  See Luke the Llama, a great photo opportunity for the little ones.  Llama Land is educational, too!  Learn about the llama and the dangers it faces in our Llama Habitat Reconstruction.  Journey through time and see five thousand years of llama history in the guided History of the Llama tour.  Stop at the comfortable, shaded rest area to enjoy our cold drinks and gourmet “Llama Dogs.”  If you’re looking for something a little faster, ride the Llama Coaster, the most thrilling ride in town!  Tell your friends!  Bring everyone to Llama Land for a great day of family fun!

Part 2: The Reality  (Aka: The Rather Llame Llama)

This weekend I had the dubious honor of reviewing the “amusement” park known as Llama Land.  Just inside the front gate I was greeted by “Luke the Llama,” a greasy smelling mascot with asymmetrical eyes and a ragged tail.  Moving on, I passed a sorry square of Bermuda grass with two llama-like paper cutouts which a ragged sign identified as the “Llama Habitat Reconstruction.”  Then I came to a promising sight: a board proclaiming “History of the Llama Tours ahead,” but it turned out to be an apathetic teenager leading a few ragged retirees past faded cardboard signs.   Hoping to find something worth staying for, I moved toward a group of unstable looking tables.  Two port-a-potties sagged dejectedly in a corner nearby, by a vending machine and a dirty hot dog stand.  Impressed to find something semi-functional in this disaster of a park, I strode over to the vending machine, only to notice a small a small sign posted on the side: Out of Order.  Nonplussed with my visit thus far, I hurried to the last attraction – the Llama Coaster.  There I found a small wooden roller-coaster, its rickety carts once painted to resemble the mammals for which it was named.

In sum: avoid this park at all costs.  You’ll have more fun reading the flyer.