A Word or Two of Advice About Blog Comments

I love blog comments.  I read them, I respond to them, they make my day.  I make it as easy as possible to join the conversation, and hope all of you decide to do so. (I do have a “first-comment moderated” policy, so if your first one doesn’t show up right away, forgive the delay and know that subsequent ones will show up as soon as you post them.)

That said…permit me to offer a word or two of advice.

1.  “Hi I love this blog. Great blog.  This post really helped me with my research,” posted on a book review entry and linked to http://www.[xratedname].com probably isn’t going to fool me into approving you.  These aren’t the dudes you’re looking for…move along.

2.  Unless your name is 4Xtga3vdq, 4Xtga3vdq@gmail.com probably isn’t your real email address.  (And if that is your name, I apologize – I completely understand why you’re serving a life sentence for what you did to your parents.) No probable-sounding name means auto-delete.

3.  I do not want to play poker, learn to play poker, watch strip poker, deal poker, understand poker or gamble on poker (real money…no money required!).  My [insert random body part] is plenty long, short, happy, sad, hairy and/or exfoliated, and I require no further assistance in that area.  I own my home, am current on my payments, and have no credit card debt.  There may be people in the universe who require your services, but I am not one of them, and I kindly request that you keep your … offers … to yourself.

In other words: welcome to the party, please play nice.  Otherwise, I’ll take my Big Stick O’Doom and go all Pinata on your backside.  Which will be entertaining for the rest of us, bot not so productive for you.

This has been a public service announcement.  We now return you to your regularly scheduled day.

4 thoughts on “A Word or Two of Advice About Blog Comments

  • November 9, 2010 at 6:56 pm

    Lmao. Thank you so much for this post. The ones I hate most are the ones with random words strung together in English with Chinese symbols for the name. All the best.

    • November 9, 2010 at 8:29 pm

      Me too. Those make me crazy. I wish someone would write an app that disables web crawlers automatically and permanently as soon as they try to put up that kind of nonsense.

      Then again, I’m in favor of telephone electroshock devices for use on rude telemarketers, too…

  • November 10, 2010 at 8:33 am

    I love this blog, can please you post on mine over at g000gle.com? Hehehe.

    • November 10, 2010 at 10:50 pm

      LOL dude. I knew someone wouldn’t disappoint me.

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