A Roaming Gnome Gathers No Moss

Capital High School in Helena, Montana, recently suffered a gnome infestation. At least 22 garden gnomes mysteriously appeared at the school at the end of May. They had apparently taken up strategic positions around campus, most likely to avoid detection.

All of which points to Chuck Sambuchino‘s brilliant (if under-recognized) forethought in preparing a manual to help us counter the gnomish insurgency.

The gnomes’ plan, as best I can determine:

  • Step 1: Seize educational institutions.
  • Step 2: ?????????
  • Step 3: PROFIT!*

They’re still working on step 2, so the Helena High squad was clearly an advance team looking for weaknesses in our response. I’d say they found them, too. Only 8 of the gnomes have been returned. The remaining 14 have given their owners the slip, but remain in police custody pending completion of the investigation.

(*As always, extra points for getting the reference right in the comments.)